The Blind Date
by Michiganlex
Summary: Lula helps Stephanie get ready for a blind date. There's no Joe or Ranger in this story. The ending was inspired by a comment made by the fabulous ReaderJane. One shot


**Name: Lex**

**Title: The Blind Date**

**Spoilers: None**

**Type: General - no Joe or Ranger here.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing - all characters belong to Janet Evanovich.**

**Notes: This is a response to a personal challenge issued to me by Susan to write a story with Lula helping Stephanie get ready for a date (2006). The ending was inspired by something that the fabulous ReaderJane said when I e-mailed her for Lula info.**

**The Blind Date**

**The bedroom was littered with clothing. A silver dress worn to a Christmas party a few years before had slid unnoticed from the bed to fall in a heap on the floor. An ice blue thong hung from the lampshade. Lula watched as Stephanie, who was pacing the short length of the room, kicked a black, leather, mini-skirt out of her way. She was still wearing gray sweats and a tee-shirt...in no way ready for the blind date who would arrive before the night was over. No wonder she'd had to call in the big guns. **

"**What happened here?" Lula asked casually, hiding a smile. Stephanie tossed her one of her patented frenzied glares and waved her arms around a room that looked as though it had been tossed. The girl worried too much. Lula could understand the nerves. Stephanie just needed to get out and get laid. She shook her head and picked a cream suit jacket up off of the floor. The horrifically unadorned fabric caused her to shiver. How could anyone wear something so...plain?**

"**What does it look like?" Stephanie asked. Lula said nothing. She walked the few steps to the closet. In her experience, all you had to do was serve it up and the men would come to the table but then Stephanie had dealt with only Joe and Ranger for years. She might as well have been married to them for all the sex she'd gotten. Yep, the girl had good reason to be nervous but sometimes you just have to take the chance to get what you need most. She pulled one of the garment bags from the back and held it out to her friend.**

"**You're thinking too much. Wear this," Lula held the bag out and Stephanie took it from her glancing at the label before tossing it aside. **

"**You want me to wear my wedding dress on a first date?"**

"**Noticing what you're wearing is a bad sign in a date. This could be a test…." Lula began, Stephanie stopped her.**

"**But it's a wedding dress. He'll not only notice but also run as far and as fast as he can. He'll then fall down the stairs and sue me and then BANG I'm back living with my parents. Yep, perfect way to solve all of my problems." she said emphatically. Lula shrugged. She moved to the bed and sat down before leaning over to pick up the silver dress. Lula knew what looked good on her and she knew that this silver dress was it. Strapless and short…..a scrap of shiny cloth really….just like she liked 'em.**

"**You ever gonna wear this again?" she asked holding it up. Stephanie stared at her for a moment.**

"**It's a size 6," she said once she finally spoke. Lula shrugged. She'd make it fit and it would look hot. Her friend, who knew her well, stared at her for a moment and then shrugged.**

"**All yours."**

"**Now we need something for you to wear. What about that hot little black dress? You still have that?" Lula asked. Stephanie blushed a deep red. Lula knew the story would be good.**

"**No," she said and turned away pretending to study the clothes on the floor. Oh no, the girl was not going to get away with that.**

"**What happened to it?" she asked innocently.**

"**It got ripped," Stephanie answered, still not looking at her. Lula smiled.**

"**Did it? Why am I just hearing about this now? Come on, you started this and now you've gotta tell Lula what happened." Stephanie turned a darker shade of red bordering on purple. Definitely the sign of a really good story. **

"**What color polish do you think I should use?" Stephanie asked extending her hand. Lula smiled. Too good a story to tell? Because Stephanie was a good friend, she decided to let her off the hook...for now. They had more important things to think about. **

"**Depends on what you're gonna wear. Just find the thing you wouldn't want your mama to see you wearing and put it on." Lula said. She glanced at the clock, "What time is he picking you up?"**

"**Forty-five minutes," Stephanie responded, putting a thumb to her mouth and chewing on the nail. Lula slapped her hand away.**

"**You don't have time for that, girl. Look at you! Sit down," Lula jumped up and quickly scanned the bottles of polish lined up on the dresser. She grabbed a deep red, "I can do your hair quick and then I'll do your nails and you do your toes." **

**Stephanie sat down on the bed while Lula rummaged through discarded clothing for Stephanie's hairbrush. **

"**Maybe I should just cancel," Stephanie mused, cradling her chin in her hand. "I've never met this guy and have no idea what he looks like. He could be a serial killer for all I know." Lula rolled her eyes. Overthinking again.**

"**Mary Lou set this up?" Lula asked as she found Stephanie's brush and started pulling her hair back. Stephanie attempted to nod but Lula pulled her head back into position, "She's your friend. Shit, how long have you been friends? You think she's gonna set you up with some serial killer. You gotta have more faith, girl."**

"**We've been friends for a long time and you don't let me set you up," Stephanie said, quirking an eyebrow. Lula rolled her eyes. Of course she'd turn this back making her regret letting the torn dress thing go. **

"**That's different," Lula said hoping that Stephanie would let it go. Not Steph, she was the Queen of Rationalization when she wanted out of something and it looked to Lula like she wanted out of this blind date.**

"**Being a ho…well, it makes you leery of blind dates. You're having a blind date every hour – twice an hour if you're good. It's….." she stopped too deep in thought to notice the shining tears in her friend's eyes, "It's different, I guess, but not so different that the thought of going out with someone I've never met doesn't make me feel like a ho all over again. I have to be selective and sure and know that this someone I'm dating is not someone who makes me feel like I could love him forever because when he's done with me….." she paused again as she wrapped Stephanie's into a loose French twist. **

"**It would just be too hard?" Stephanie asked. Lula looked down at her and felt like bursting into tears.**

"**Yea," she said simply. She pinned Stephanie's hair and used the curling iron to make the loose tendrils straight and soft.**

"**He might not leave you," Stephanie offered. Lula smiled. Her friend was so innocent. She'd never seen the sort of world that had shaped Lula. She'd never watched one parent self-destruct after the death of another. Her father may have died, but it felt the same as if he'd just walked out of the door. He'd killed himself and had chosen to leave them…. just like every man after had. Not that there had been any good men to come through. Lula wished that her mother had put down the needle and had taken up ironing for stress management. She shrugged, no use looking back, she was dead now. **

**Lula was at the point in her life where the anger for her mother had subsided and she just felt a deep pity. If only her mother had had friends like Stephanie and Connie to help her get to the point where she no longer felt like she was just taking up space in the world. She heard Stephanie squeal of pain and pulled the curling iron from her ear while she shook herself out of the fog that had pervaded her mind.**

**"You know, Lula, maybe if you gave the right man the chance, he wouldn't leave. Sometimes you just have to open yourself up and know that, in the end, no matter how bad it hurts, it'll get better," Stephanie suggested. No way was Lula going there right now. **

"**You decided what to wear?" she asked weakly.**

"**Not yet. While I find something, why don't you try on the silver dress?" Stephanie suggested. Lula smiled. Just the thing to pull her mind back to a happy place. Wasn't anything she loved better than clothes.**

"**Good idea." She picked the dress up off of the bed and headed for the bathroom. Lula watched herself in the mirror as she pulled off her clothes. Some people called her fat. Those people were crazy. She loved herself and thought she looked perfect. She loved showing hers full-figure off. The shrink that Lula had seen after the whole Ramirez thing had said that she was defying her critics by putting in their faces the very thing she hated about herself. He was a whack job. Lula loved herself. She sighed as she wiggled into the dress. It fit perfectly and it looked great. **

**Caught up in the moment, Lula helped herself to some of the makeup on the counter doing "night eyes." She scanned herself critically. Perfect. Not a damn thing wrong. Some silver heels and she'd be…. the doorbell rang bringing her back to the present and making her feel a bit guilty. She was here to help Stephanie get ready for her date, not play dress up. Stephanie knocked frantically at the door and Lula opened it to find her friend still wearing the gray sweats she'd been wearing. **

"**I'm not ready yet," she whispered frantically, "Can you get the door?" She stopped, "You look great. I have some silver heels…." She ran to the room and brought them back with her. Lula was hypnotized by the shiny shoes until the doorbell rang again. She hugged Stephanie.**

"**I'll get it. You finish getting ready." Stephanie smiled gratefully and then ran back to her bedroom. The doorbell rang again. Shit, that boy was impatient. She hurried to the door and threw it open. She opened her mouth to scold him and stopped.**

"**Bobby?" What was he doing here? Stephanie had been trying to get her to go out with Bobby for months. She realized that her mouth was still hanging open and snapped her jaw shut so hard that she wouldn't have been surprised if she'd chipped a tooth.**

"**Hey Lula," Bobby said, "You ready to go?" Lula was speechless. She turned toward the bedroom to see Stephanie, who had been peering around the corner, pull back into the room and shut the door. She was gonna kill that girl. She turned back to Bobby to tell him that there had been some mistake and then noticed how his shirt hugged his arms and chest. She'd just have to call Stephanie tomorrow and tell her off. No use going back there now when she was looking so good and making Bobby go home when he was looking so good. Nope, Lula wasn't about to be wasteful. She tossed him a smile and took his arm trying not to revel too much in the rock-solid muscle.**

**"Oh, hell yeah," she whispered as Bobby smiled down at her.**


End file.
